Jokes Thread (Good and Bad)

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matsta
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Jokes Thread (Good and Bad)

Post by matsta » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:57 am

*POST YOUR JOKES OR FUNNY LINKS*

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matsta
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Post by matsta » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:59 am

• A New Zealander walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says, “Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.”

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: “I think you’ll find that’s a sheep, you idiot.”

The man says, “I think you’ll find I wasn’t talking to you.”



• Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
• If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

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CTZn
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Post by CTZn » Sat Jun 09, 2007 9:14 am

Lllol, I'll try to remember the first one, and understand the second... At first I thought "because chickens have one hole only" but that was for the bad joke ;)
obsolete asset

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matsta
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Post by matsta » Sat Jun 09, 2007 11:01 am

lol... siko

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Post by eman7613 » Sat Jun 09, 2007 2:42 pm

So the first Jewish President of the US is giving his inaugural address, and all of the generals and other officials and family are there for the event. The man's mother happens to be sitting next to one of the generals and taps on his shoulder.
"You know that man up there, on the podium? His brother is a doctor!"
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Anthony
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Post by Anthony » Sat Jun 09, 2007 4:52 pm

Q:What is the difference between 100 baby corpses and a porsche?
A:I don't have a porsche in my garage :D

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Dacksoldier
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Post by Dacksoldier » Sat Jun 09, 2007 5:31 pm

Anthony wrote:Q:What is the difference between 100 baby corpses and a porsche?
A:I don't have a porsche in my garage :D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH makes me die inside

Q:whats worse then 100 babies in 1 garbage can?
A:1 baby in 100 garbage cans
yeah ino its an old one but still

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matsta
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Post by matsta » Sat Jun 09, 2007 7:56 pm

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and brick?
A: No matter how many times u throw a baby through a plate glass window, its still fun!

Q: Whats black and sits patiently at the top of the stairs?
A: Steven Hawking after a house fire :P

Q: Why didnt Superman stop the world trade center attacks?
A: Because hes a quadropledgic.

The Alligator may be steve irwins favourite animal but he will always have a special place in is heart for the sting ray

Q: Whats red and is constantly going around knocking on windows?
A: a baby in a blender.

Q: How do you get 4 gay guys onto a bar stool?
A: Turn it upside-down

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gestapo.
Gestapo who?
VE ASK ZE KVESTIONS! *SLAP*

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?
A: He saw the gas bill.

Q: How did the constipated mathematician relieve himself?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.

I like my women like i like my coffee.
Ground up and in the freezer :P

Husband: ‘Want a quickie?’
Wife: ‘As opposed to what?’

lol soz those last ones were a bit bad :P
enjoy

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joegiampaoli
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Post by joegiampaoli » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:34 pm

In an indian tribe there is the great indian chief who is well know for naming all the people in the tribe.

One of the members of the tribe comes to him and tells him, "Oh great Chief, I know you are great at giving the names of all our members in the tribe, and I respect you for your deep and hard work at doing it, I know all you do is watch the first thing in nature that you see and use that as a name, I see great names as 'Panting Wolf', 'Fearless Bear' and 'Raindrop in Flower' but why the hell did you have to call me 'Two Dogs Fucking'?"
Joe Giampaoli
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Post by joegiampaoli » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:41 pm

This is probably one of my favorite sites, supposed to be true computer stupidity anecdotes. Check em out and enjoy, remember to bookmark!

:wink:

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
Joe Giampaoli
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matsta
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Post by matsta » Sat Jun 09, 2007 10:04 pm

lol good 1 joe :P

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Post by ThatDude33 » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:34 am

So these 3 guys get trapped by a cannibalistic tribe in New Guinea. The leader says "You must bring back a fruit each. Then you will get further orders."

So all three guys go to get the fruits. The first guy comes back with some grapes. The leader then says "You must now shove these grapes up your ass without any noise." After a bit of struggle, the guy shoves the grapes up his ass and he is free to go.

Next, the second guy comes back, but with an apple. The leader says "You mush shove it up your ass without making a sound." So he starts, and as he's shoving it up there, he starts laughing hysterically. The leader asks "Why did you laugh?", to which the guy with the apple replies "I just saw my other buddy... and he brought a pineapple."

Ok it's not great, but I think it was pretty funny.
Matt B. >>Maya To Indigo<<
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Post by joegiampaoli » Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:27 am

lol reminds me of another one....

Two explorers are captured by an african tribe and tie them to a post, the tribe's chief comes to them and tells them "You have entered holly grounds!, you will be punished for this but you will have the option to decide your fates"

He then points to one of them and says "What will it be for you white man?, Death or Booga Booga?" The guy looks at the chief and says "Make it Booga Booga, I'm sure it's better than death, I'll take it"

So then 300 male tribe men and the chief grab him, tear his clothes off and rape the shit out of him, when they are done they leave him half crazy on the ground with a pretty damaged ass...

Then the chief goes to the second guy and asks him "You, second white man, have you decided your fate?" and the guy thinks to himself while he looks at his poor buddy lying on the ground, "I think I prefer this guys to kill me, I just don't wanna go through the same shit he went through", then he answers to the chief "DEATH! Just kill me!", so the chief looks at him and says, "very well, you want death, so be it then, but since we are going to kill you we will first do Booga Booga"
Joe Giampaoli
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eman7613
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Post by eman7613 » Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:04 am

<---- dead babies joke king!!!

Q: How do you stop a baby from falling down a hole?
A: You throw a javelin at him.

Q: What is worse then a pile of dead babies?
A: The live one eating its way out!

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.

Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
A: Cancer.

i'm a horrible person ;p
Yes i know, my spelling sucks

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matsta
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Post by matsta » Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:06 am

lol. eish. but i think a watermelon is worse than a pineapple :P hehe

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